Better

I’m paralyzed with fear
I don’t like change
I don’t like work
I find it strange
I overthink everything
I think my friends hate me
I think I could do better
Of course I could do better
I can be anything I want to be
That’s what they tell me
I want to do better
I need to do better
I try to force myself
I sit still
Until I can think
Until it doesn’t stress me out
Until I don’t lose my will
To think
But thought never come
So I waste my days away
Staring at a wall
Hoping not to fall
Being paralyzed
I was truly happy before
To the point where I wasn’t scared
I knew that worse times were coming
But I couldn’t have cared
I wish that they hadn’t come
So soon
Good times will be back
They always return
But then they always end
And I sit on my bed
Paralyzed with fear
Waiting for them to return
Waiting to do better.