I'm Not A Poet

A poem by Writerial.

​NOTE: I’ve been wanting to write a poem like this for a while so I did. I know a lot of people have tried this before, but I wanted to give it a shot as well. Enjoy!

I’m not a poet.
I can’t really rhyme.
It just takes so much time
To make rhymes divine
And in every line
The words must be sublime.
They have to chime
In musical design.
My rhymes are like slime.
They're gross and they whine.
I simply can’t rhyme.

I’m not a poet.
My similes are like that of an illiterate mule-as stupid and stubborn as can be.
They’re as awkward as a fish out of water, gasping for skill like a gasp for air
And when I write them I get as frustrated as an artist who cannot see or a musician who cannot hear
But they continue on, being as awful as a ten-day expired carton of milk.

I’m not a poet.
My alliteration is amazingly awful-although all I do is attempt to announce my appalling ability to act astray of my ambitions, it always attempts to abolish my articulate abilities and achieves this accomplishment abnormally artfully.

I’m not a poet.
My metaphors are volcanoes of failure and ineptitude begging to erupt and destroy the village of my achievements.
They’re weaker than my physical strength-and that’s saying a lot.
They’re more forced than that awkward first date between you and that guy your friend has been begging you to go out with for months that you’re really not that into.

I’m not a poet.
My onomatopoeias drop with a clang! and explode with a boom!
They destroy my skill but a bang! and a pow! and a kaboom!

I’m not a poet.
My personification reaches for glory, but my lack of skill holds it back. The two struggle in battle, until my personification heaves a weary sigh and waves a white flag in defeat. My failure looks on with a smug grin, rejoicing in the resounding depression of defeat.

I’m not a poet.